highschool. 3/10/10

if any of you know me, i hate high school.
i hate it SO much.

now, i'm not saying i hate park & wish i was back at cls. i do not wish to go to case, horlick, prairie, walden, or be homeschooled. i just hate high school in general.

to be honest, i don't hate the school work or tests or any of that. cuz whatever, that comes with the territory. but drama. i despise drama. which is an oxy-moron cuz i am a huge drama queen. i'm sure you are aware. haha. i sometimes think i have a curse...because high school girls, hate me. there is only a select few i get along with, because they give me a chance. i wish i had a guess at why high schools girls hate me, but i really do not. whatever, that's besides the real point here.

as many of you know, (i say many like i have that many readers? haha.), at my youth group (blaze), we are starting STOP DRAMA // START LOVE.
it's the hardest thing i have ever done. now i am not here to lecture anyone because i am in this with the rest of you. but i kinda want to vent here...

it's amazing the things i hear at school. we all say the meanest, ugliest things to each other and don't even think twice about it. it's disgusting. really. we ALL talk about each other, we ALL make fun of each other, we ALL fight with people over retarded things, and we ALL don't care! have you ever listened to yourself? i mean really listen? the things you say are so hurtful. in this stop drama // start love deal, we are challenged to stop talking about each other, stop saying sarcastic things you secretly mean, stop shooting hurtful things right back at each other, all that. it's called holding your tongue. guess who is reaaaaaally bad at that? haha, that would be lizz pedersen. she get's an automatic fail. but i'm trying. i suck at it, but i am trying so very hard.

i want to stop hurting people. i am very over sensitive. like none other, i cry about everything? it's stupid. but i know how much pain i feel when i hear someone said something about me.. and i really want to stop hurting others like that. what good does that do? build up my self confidence? yeah, that's awesome, you = crappy person. so i want to change. but it's so DIFFICULT.

question.. why don't we all start loving each other? really, what is so bad about that? why not? that girl talked bad about you, why go up and say mean things right back? what good does that do!? why don't you go up to her, tell her you forgive her and be done. come on, if you're reading this, i really want you to try this. please. just try it once. i don't care if you're christian, catholic, athiest, stuck in the middle, i don't care! TRY THIS! it feels so good. build each other up! love each other.

my apology:
i want to apologize to everyone. i'm sure i have said something mean about each and everyone of you. and i am completely sorry. i hope you can forgive me.
i want to start fresh and want to spread love to all of you.

i will fail at this many times, but i WILL try my best.

see you later alligator,
wizbang.