arkansas <3 5/24/10

a few weeks ago or so, i went to arkansas.
ask me which city? i dare you.
alright, i'll tell you.
it's TECHNICALLY lowell, but it's also rogers & bentonville*?

anyway, i very much enjoy going down there. i go there to visit my cousins :) sadly when i get there i pull up to a little YIPSTER, ugly!, squirrel attacking football sized, NOT REAL, dog. ha, they know i hate that thing ;) but i get greeted with beautiful girls hugging me and handsome benjabubble. i love them so. THEN i get a warm welcome from their new addition, esther ( zuzu (sp?) ). my aunt and uncle adopted and 8 year old girl from china to raise in their lovely home. she is very cool!

my favorite thing about pulling up to their house is the rush of memories.
i used to go there twice a year about, including one long week in the summer. now that we all are super busy, & money sucks, this doesn't happen anymore.
the memories that run through my head are,

good times in their backyard buffalo field,

old^

watching all three jurassic parks, and then pretending we lived in that world,
swimming at their little water park THAT RACINE DOESN'T HAVE :|
drinking so much kennedy until we threw up,
(for all of you wisconsin-ites, kennedy is the best coffee place in the world, TOPS starbucks.

old^

making THEE MOST hilarious videos/commercials/music vids of your life,
"model" pictures,
fishing!


& going for insane drives to get ice cream & just listen to nsync.
ohh and also the fighting over the one computer they had at the time!

all my cousins are older than me, but we all get along really well and i love them dearly.
we used to have the most wicked times doing the most stupidest things.

currently what's up in blaze. 4/15

these past couple weeks blaze has been very trying and hard to listen to.

not this past week, but the week before jason (youth pastor), spoke and printed off this sheet as a guide as to how we should live our lives as christian. now before the jumping of conclusions arise, it wasn't a list of rules or things you must follow/do to be a christian, they were just explaining what it's like to be completely and utterly obsessed with Jesus Christ.

so blaze has left me feeling pretty...guilty. ha, that wasn't the point and jason made that very clear. yet, it stung a little. okay, a lot. it made me take a good look at myself as to if i am shedding the love of Jesus. uhh, that was a weird anology. hopefully you get my flow here. tah, anyway, so of course wednesday nights i go home fired up. i'm going to live for Jesus, spread love, stop drama!
BAM, it's thursday morning and i hate everyone. awesome lizz, awesome. way to SUCK IT UP!

so that wednesday i had a good discussion with danch, (i suggest no matter who you are, she can give awesome advice!), and i talked about how sucky i am. and she explains to me that it's MY journey. i will suck, and i will mess up. i say yes danch but i shouldn't mess up! hey, lizz..you're going to, get over it. so i have been struggling with this whole thing.

this week was a whole new subject. 3STORY.
reaching out to those friends of yours who do not know Christ as their personal savior.
oh yay! i get to start losing more friends because i'll be shoving Jesus down their throats!
sike, it doesn't have to be like that.
but will i make the choice to reach out to others,
am i too scared?
i guess we'll find out, eh?

this has a point, promise.

the guy, ivan, that was speaking and going through this little book with us showed a lot of small vid clips, in one they were just interviewing other random people, and one guy said something that stuck out to me..
"God has to increase, so I can decrease."
take from that what you will, but if i let God lead my life, show me what to do, and i trust in him, my crappiness will decrease. it will fade away, slowly but surely.

& to me,
that's very reassuring.

see you later alligator,
wizbang

the barn! 4/5/10

even though i don't get my busy butt out there enough, the barn is one of my favorite places ever. on the contrary, i think it is my ultimate favorite place ever.

mmmmm, especially in summer. the summer breeze there is unbelievable. most people do not appreciate the smell of the barn, but i sure do. it's so peaceful out there. it's quiet unlike the city streets. it's so relaxing.



to answer any questions, no the barn or the horses are not mine. but i have been riding these horses since 5th grade. i have free reign to ride or go out there anytime. and i take care of them while their owner's are out of town. examples: spring break & christmas break. i love doing it. it's good training for me, because i want to own a ranch one day.

i really enjoy going out there by myself. it's so calm, and i can just unwind and think.



the horses out there are amazing. rusty will always be my favorite. he's the old fart, yet he thinks he is head hancho. nugget is mr. attitude but he's growing on me. & our new addition is ms willa. she's freakin adorable. she is kinda pyscho & frantic, but hey, she's a baby.

i love the city, & shopping, & all that, but there is just something that grabs at me for country. if i had to choose it would be to live on ranch in the country away from everything but if i needed to, i could take a 30 minute drive and i'd land right in a city. it's ironic because i want to be a photographer for vogue, that's kind of my dream, but i'm settling for living on a ranch and picture taking different things.
we'll see what happens, this was just a ramble of things i think about.



my adventure has begun and i know God will put me, where he wants to put me.

see you later alligator,
wizbang.

pointless-ness. 3/23/10

i think since no one really reads this that i don't know.. this post will be unnecessary.
but for anyone that happens upon this, will now know lizz's explanation of herself.

hello, i'm lizz, and i live my life for christ. i'd tell you not to pretend like you know me, but that would be a lost cause. sixteen and yet still acts like a five year old. i act before thinking. don't call me religious, that's not what i am. just because i love & follow jesus, does NOT mean i am perfect. what a shocker. i'm a horrible decision maker. i forgive too easy, but i hold grudges. i'm dramatic. and over sensitive. i cry about everything. i have trouble letting go of things. material things along with emotional things. i'm always on the ground. &+ i'm a flat out pain in the butt.
---
i take a lot of pictures
; a photo secures a moment that will only happen once.
---------------------------------------------------



you have already given yourself an idea of who i am. there are many different generalizations and stereotypes that with one simple statement i was placed into. how humorous. but i don’t care. why should i? i am me, i am my own person, and no one will have power over me.
---------------------------------------------------

i'm lizz, and i live my life for christ. & everything i just said to you meant nothing.

drinking. 3/22/10

"last night was soooo effed up!".
i just love hearing that. really, i do.

i'm lying. i hate hearing those conversation starters.
drinking is one of my biggest pet peeves. and i hear it a lot. every monday is when i hear it the most. being on facebook you'll see it a lot too. pictures & status's and such. it makes me want to vomit. i know i'm going to end up making people mad at me if they read this. but it's how i feel and something i have a strong opinion about.

i always hear these insane stories. about not being able to remember the night before, waking up and not knowing where you are, or what you did. i feel like that would be extremely scary. the first thought that would flutter through my mind would be "did i get raped?!". you never know right? or i hate hearing "i don't know why i did it".. PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU WERE UNCONTROLLABLY DRUNK! i almost don't feel bad for people. you brought it upon yourself. you had a choice. and whatever you mayne say "i made a mistake", but i guarantee you do it again. because then you'll be "cool" or get that "guy", or those girls will "like you". yep, passing out half naked, puking in a pretty porcelain bowl, with your hair in your face is SOOOOOOOOO cool! i just wish i was you!

it makes me really sad. we all know, girls are NOT NICE. if they see you at a party drunk, & acting a fool, they will talk about you. no doubt about it. and you can say "I LOVE HAVING HATERS" blah blah, but you know it hurts. why make a fool of yourself and give people an invitation to make fun of you? or talk about you? or get yourself a reputation you don't want?

{i just don't understand.
i will not falter to this peer pressure.
you can call me stuck up, but i'm not, i'm just being smart.
and i WILL take that "uncool" title anyday. thank you.}

see you later alligator,
wizbang.

highschool. 3/10/10

if any of you know me, i hate high school.
i hate it SO much.

now, i'm not saying i hate park & wish i was back at cls. i do not wish to go to case, horlick, prairie, walden, or be homeschooled. i just hate high school in general.

to be honest, i don't hate the school work or tests or any of that. cuz whatever, that comes with the territory. but drama. i despise drama. which is an oxy-moron cuz i am a huge drama queen. i'm sure you are aware. haha. i sometimes think i have a curse...because high school girls, hate me. there is only a select few i get along with, because they give me a chance. i wish i had a guess at why high schools girls hate me, but i really do not. whatever, that's besides the real point here.

as many of you know, (i say many like i have that many readers? haha.), at my youth group (blaze), we are starting STOP DRAMA // START LOVE.
it's the hardest thing i have ever done. now i am not here to lecture anyone because i am in this with the rest of you. but i kinda want to vent here...

it's amazing the things i hear at school. we all say the meanest, ugliest things to each other and don't even think twice about it. it's disgusting. really. we ALL talk about each other, we ALL make fun of each other, we ALL fight with people over retarded things, and we ALL don't care! have you ever listened to yourself? i mean really listen? the things you say are so hurtful. in this stop drama // start love deal, we are challenged to stop talking about each other, stop saying sarcastic things you secretly mean, stop shooting hurtful things right back at each other, all that. it's called holding your tongue. guess who is reaaaaaally bad at that? haha, that would be lizz pedersen. she get's an automatic fail. but i'm trying. i suck at it, but i am trying so very hard.

i want to stop hurting people. i am very over sensitive. like none other, i cry about everything? it's stupid. but i know how much pain i feel when i hear someone said something about me.. and i really want to stop hurting others like that. what good does that do? build up my self confidence? yeah, that's awesome, you = crappy person. so i want to change. but it's so DIFFICULT.

question.. why don't we all start loving each other? really, what is so bad about that? why not? that girl talked bad about you, why go up and say mean things right back? what good does that do!? why don't you go up to her, tell her you forgive her and be done. come on, if you're reading this, i really want you to try this. please. just try it once. i don't care if you're christian, catholic, athiest, stuck in the middle, i don't care! TRY THIS! it feels so good. build each other up! love each other.

my apology:
i want to apologize to everyone. i'm sure i have said something mean about each and everyone of you. and i am completely sorry. i hope you can forgive me.
i want to start fresh and want to spread love to all of you.

i will fail at this many times, but i WILL try my best.

see you later alligator,
wizbang.

PHOTOGRAPHY. 3/7/10

when i grow up, i want to be a photographer :)

no, but really. i do.

whoever is reading this, i really like pictures. i take a bajillion and ten with people. i have a new pictures about every week. it's kind of annoying. i have like 54895 albums on myspace. and like 9823 on facebook. it's nuts.

"a photo secures a moment that will only happen once. "

granted, i have not done much with taking pictures of things? like idk, nature and randomness, i really love taking pictures of people. i love capturing the right angles & lights. i get giddy sometimes, it's weird.

i had my friend kelli manning put on some cute clothes one day and go down to fratt elementary's little park and have her be my model/protejay.

i think i just have a passion for having a camera in my hand. i love doing it. it's probably the one job i would never

get sick of, you know? you know you're obsessed when you see something and you think in your head "click", that

would have been an amazing picture. i am CONSTANTLY doing that in my head. and oddly enough, i get mad at myself?

like WHY DIDN'T you get that? haha. i'm retarded like that.

i want to do people's senior pictures, wedding, any occasions. i like taking pictures of nature. but i am more into

the people & their stories. i want to start taking amateur pictures of people's senior pictures. but i have yet to

save up for a NICE camera or photoshop. but i'll get there.

ohhhhhhh, or something i am soooo interested above senior pictures or weddings. ever been to

a concert? hopefully. haha. well, you know those people with huge camera's running around right

next to the stage in front. yes. that WILL be me one day. that would be perfect for me. taking

pictures of bands. ahhh...oh gosh. it'd be hard but soo amazing. this is my passion.

for now, i will randomly stick up whatever pictures i feel our good. which probably will be none.

see you later alligator,

wizbang.